Meet Laura!
Laura is a 5th year student at the UofT Scarborough campus specializing in Arts Management and a minor in Urban Public Policy & Governance. She is driven, independent, courageous and creative. Laura was involved in various artistic disciplines such as classical ballet, jazz, and visual arts before undergrad. Her passion for the arts fueled her inspiration to become an arts manager. Laura sees the intrinsic value of the arts and its impact on communities and hopes to continue engaging in community arts outreach and development. Hanging out with friends, meditating, doing yoga and pilates are things that help Laura destress.
The most important thing about Laura is that she tries not to judge others because she doesn’t know what anyone is going through.
Moving On From..
Laura is an only child born to first generation immigrants in Canada and is the first in her family to receive higher education. She felt pressured to succeed, so she placed many expectations on herself. Laura tried to uptake all the opportunities and advantages that the university had to offer and was involved in several campus groups and held executive positions. During her first year, she served as the Membership Development Chair for the UofT Scarborough Cheerleading Team, while serving as the secretary for the Gamma Phi Beta sorority. In her second year, she became the philanthropy chair at Gamma Phi Beta, and joined ARTSIDEOUT, UTSC’s largest multidisciplinary arts festival, as the outreach assistant and was later promoted to General Manager. By the end of her second year, Laura balanced a full-time internship and a part-time job, all while maintaining school and her extracurriculars. Initially, she was able to manage while achieving good grades. Eventually, the stress of these responsibilities and commitments was too much for Laura to handle and she ‘burned out’. In spite of this burn out, Laura credits these groups as contributing to her overall personal growth. She considers all of her colleagues as empowering and appreciates the supportive environment they created to help foster self-awareness and discovery.
During Laura’s fourth year, her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. With all the extenuating circumstances, Laura realized that creating a fixed timeline for graduation was unrealistic. She needed to honour her own personal well-being and re-evaluate the expectations she placed on herself. When her mother started treatment, Laura felt as if she was losing herself and she started to demonstrate symptoms of depression and anxiety. Laura decreased her course load in order to take care of her mother, and as her mother’s cancer progressed, Laura experienced severe caregiver burden. The emotional toll was something that Laura didn’t know how to manage, and she ended up dropping 5 to 6 courses within the Fall and Winter term combined which made her feel extremely guilty. Laura prioritized her mother first and wanted to cherish her last memories with her. She created a legacy project and audio recorded the things her mother would say, such as the recipe to her favourite chicken wings, what she would want to say to Laura’s kids, and what she would have said to Laura on her wedding day. Her mother made her promise to go back to the Philippines in 2020 to take part in a Christian pilgrimage, which she is committed to fulfilling.
In August of 2018, Laura’s mother passed away. Prior to her passing, her mother wanted Laura to register for the upcoming term of university. Two hours before she passed away, Laura enrolled into her courses for the year. Since Laura was named as the executor of her mother’s estate, she was forced to grow up quickly and plan her mother’s funeral and burial by herself. Following her mother’s funeral, Laura needed to self-indulge and decided to travel. She attempted to surf the sand dunes in Dubai, went cliff jumping in Spain, and punting in England during the remainder of 2018. In the early months of 2019, she visited New York three times, skied down Mont Tremblant, roamed the streets of Frankfurt, Germany, drove down the pacific coast highway in California, and received scholarships to study abroad in Japan and South Africa for the summer. Her mother did not want Laura’s life to come to a standstill after her death and though it has been extremely hard, Laura makes sure she always tries to live her best life.
Finding a sense of community on and off campus is what helped Laura. Navigating the death of a loved one in university was difficult but it got better for her once she realized the available support systems. She joined the UofT grief support group, found a spiritual community at the Newman Centre, visits counsellors regularly and has loved ones by her side. Laura realizes that it’s okay to not be okay. She’s still in the process of learning how to cope with grief, which is unique and different for everyone. She’s learning new things about herself and the emotions she never felt. Laura’s trauma and lived experienced did not define her but has given her strength to tackle or overcome life’s obstacles as they come.
Take Home Message
“Don’t rush the process. Healing takes time and good things will unfold for you.” – to the past Laura
“Why rush through life? Sometimes rushing isn’t necessary (in terms of university). Manage your course load at a reasonable pace that you can handle. Don’t feel guilty or compare yourself to other people’s achievements or expectations. Take advantage of the experience and opportunities that U of T has to offer, but do so at a manageable pace. ”- to the people reading this